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Writers Guild :3

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Author Topic: Writers Guild :3  (Read 915 times)
Spike Spiegel
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« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2010, 12:18:46 pm »

good job man
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R.I.P Raul u were a good friend
Agent Gold Dasher
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« Reply #16 on: July 05, 2010, 07:43:41 am »

I need to post here more frequently. TwT

Here is a very short peice of writing lifted from Chapter Two of Resonance of the Ed's: Ed Eater.

Chapter Two

“Ed! ED! Open the door you idiot!”

With one mighty kick, little Sarah blew the door to her elder brother’s room wide open and sent it on a one way collision course with the wall. The humble door was broken into a dozen pieces. Nervously, Jimmy poked his head out from behind the few hinges that were still adhered to the wall.

“S-Sarah? Is it safe?”

Ed’s little sister marched into his room and began to look around, picking apart anything and everything that got in her way. Jimmy gave out a yelp as a chair nearly missed his head.

“Where is that brother of mine?! Where could he possibly be?!”

The two of them began to plumb every nook and cranny of Ed’s room for any signs of life. They looked under his covers; no Ed. They looked in his closet; no Ed. They even tore down the false wall Ed has installed to keep his sponge collection safe and in prime condition; alas, no Ed to be found. In a fit of desperation, Sarah tried checking her brother’s shower. Exhausted, Sarah and Jimmy returned to the kitchen upstairs and plopped themselves down in a chair.

“Well, I should have known he wouldn’t be there. He must be hanging out with his Double D and Eddy. And goodness knows where they are NOW.”

Jimmy daintily sipped on a cherry juice box he had taken from the fridge.

“Are you sure they are behind our water problems Sarah?”

Sarah responded with a snort.

“Well duh, Jimmy, I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“But do you really think they would be able to do this sort of stunt? I mean…stealing all the water out of Peach Creek? Isn’t that a little out of there league?”

Sarah saw Jimmy’s point. Her brow furrowed as she thought.

“I guess this is a little farfetched...."

She balled her fists and beat on the table furiously.

“Ah, I don’t care! I just want to beat the ever loving snot out of them for running off on us and making me waste my summer time looking for them!”
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Mtnboy97
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« Reply #17 on: July 05, 2010, 05:18:59 pm »

I will join
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If you cant find the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Sharpshoot
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« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2010, 07:48:25 pm »

Can I join? i have a fan-fic titled "Please Call and Come Home" on the Fan-Fic forum.


Here is a quick peek

"Formerly named Amazin Bay, a once loved and cherished large city. As the years went by the place got more and more deserted.  People moved out, and few moved in to replace them. Society was just out of the town. Antonio is eventually left with no friends. People just took the whole city for granted. Soon, one small neighborhood stood, Antonio being the only kid left. The city was more of a ghost town now. The few adults surviving with only the Guavas that grew from the trees, the deer that live in the land and the fish bred in the sea. Not even its beautiful view of the ocean stood to people anymore, thus, the name name was unofficially changed to Tear Bay, to mirror the emotions that the few residents felt."
« Last Edit: July 05, 2010, 07:58:57 pm by CourageThaarSharpshoot » Report Spam   Logged

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Makastar
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« Reply #19 on: July 06, 2010, 07:09:34 am »

Sure thing you guys can join ^^ I haven't really been able to read things in awhile but I'm going to be trying to catch up with all the posts this week ^^

Current members of the guild:

1. Alice Freeangel
2. Kitty Cheesethird
3. Agent Gold Dasher
4. Number 2
5. Coweater
6. gregorys1
7. Zok Terrorgiant
8. Alshary Sharpshoot (Ashy)
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« Reply #20 on: July 06, 2010, 12:36:05 pm »

heres where you can go to my new fan fic


http://ultrafusionfallmultiindex.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,1977.0.html
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Makastar
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« Reply #21 on: July 07, 2010, 10:56:35 am »

All right, my first edit job is one Gregory's lil snip-it he presented us. Sorry its so late.

k here goes true love
love is like a donation not a request
someone who really loves gives it all and loses nothing
someone who asks and requests something from another person who they say to love is showing they truely dont love them.
it manifests the charge,concerning a egotisum
love should not be receiving but giving it's not asking but proportioning happiness and graditude our mothers are the most highest and biggest example of love of the true love by Gregorys1


All right A very nice little snip-it in my eyes. Is this a freestyle poem or an actual paragraph. I can see in the lines its most likely freestyle but just wanted to make sure with you. Nice job and keep at it. ^^
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Makastar
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« Reply #22 on: July 07, 2010, 11:18:34 am »

Next edit is coweater's post a lil while back. Again, sorry its so late.

(the prologue) Zach wakes up and hears the doorbell ring.He felt a chill go down his spine but he opened the door to see that a monster jumped out of no where.Zach used his karate he knew but it was no use.Then a voice was in his head and said,

voice-Zach use your powers on the monster.........now!

Zach use a bolt of electricity to kill the monster.

All right, some constructive criticism. Nothing major, just a few minor issues with the portion you've presented. You have a tendency to flipflop between present past and future tense. For example: "Zach wakes up and hears the doorbell ring." This part is present tense. "Zach used his karate he knew but it was no use." This part is past tense. You want to stick with one tense throughout the story, switching tenses confuses the reader.

Another thing is something I posted in one of your fanfics before, a good concept but there isn't any real buildup in the amount you right. Not a lot of descriptions going on that make the reader say "Oh I have to know what's going to happen next." Let me write up a quick lil snip-it of your first sentence there:

"Zach always thought he was dead to the world when he was asleep, unknown to what was going on beyond his closed eyes. When that doorbell rang throughout his house, however, Zach's slumber was disturbed. Alarmed, Zach picked himself off the couch and stumbled over to the front door, his hand pausing just above the handle. Something didn't feel right..."


If you just add in a little bit more description, there is also more flow with your story instead of just a step1/step2/step3 style without anything aiding it onward.

Just keep practicing the writing and take whatever constructive criticism you can ^^ And don't let yourself be discouraged, just keep doing the things you enjoy doing and it'll be just fine! ^^
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« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2010, 07:52:24 am »

Just read the part you posted Agent, I'm pleased to say that when I did a read-through I didn't catch any spelling or grammar errors. I'll look through a couple times and let you know.

You already know how much of a fan I am of your story ^^ Such an amazing tale, and you write to both storylines presented (Eds and Soul Eater) very well. If you ever need a beta for it, just post your chappies and I'll be glad to oblige. :3
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« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2010, 08:03:47 am »

And last but certainly not least, Ashy's snip-it Tongue

I believe I posted this in the fic's actual thread but I'll just say it again. The story itself is very interesting and good. However, its best to seperate into shorter paragraphs so the reader isn't distracted by a giant block of words Tongue It's sometimes hard to follow because there are so many sentences in the one paragraph. Not many other mistakes I see though, I enjoy the story and I'm interested to see more of it ^^

Just keep practicing the flow and all of your sentences and your writing will be superb in no time ^^ Keep up the good work!!!
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« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2010, 08:38:26 am »

Just read the part you posted Agent, I'm pleased to say that when I did a read-through I didn't catch any spelling or grammar errors. I'll look through a couple times and let you know.

You already know how much of a fan I am of your story ^^ Such an amazing tale, and you write to both storylines presented (Eds and Soul Eater) very well. If you ever need a beta for it, just post your chappies and I'll be glad to oblige. :3


Thank you Alice, for taking the time out of your busy schedule to proof read my work. I hope my fiction continues to entertain.  Grin
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« Reply #26 on: July 08, 2010, 09:16:01 am »

You're most certainly welcome ^^ I made the guild for that reason afterall, to help each other with our writing :3 I already read your newest chappie of Eds and I'm going to be reading your newest of Slim Bebop soon Smiley

Also, I'm working on my newest chappie of Misfit Players as well. As soon as I write it up I'm going to send it to Baki since her character is premiering in it but then after I get it back, I'll probably be posting it up here to get some constructive criticism as well ^^
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Sharpshoot
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« Reply #27 on: July 08, 2010, 04:49:13 pm »

Chapter 2 of Please Call and Come Home is up!
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Enter The Fusion Modulation Headquarters

THE STUDS OF ULTRA'S:

Alshary Sharpshoot - Rose Terrorangel
Ace Tinybullet - Awesome Busterbullet
Alse Kai - Zoey Sparklebird
Agent Gold Dasher - Alicia Freeangel
Silver Kid - Jazz Doccanyon
Zok Terrorgiant - Carter Angelchampion
Roller Rockstar - Admiral Fastfeet
Jamie Doccanyon - Smax
ULTRA HIMSELF
Spike Spiegel
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« Reply #28 on: July 08, 2010, 05:49:13 pm »

yo thanks for reading mine  Grin
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R.I.P Raul u were a good friend
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« Reply #29 on: July 29, 2010, 06:26:46 pm »

I will join if thats okay? I have a fan fic that I am working on. I just put it in Fan Fic.
( Lost To Be Found ) ^^

« Last Edit: July 31, 2010, 03:05:59 pm by Lucky Girl » Report Spam   Logged

The darkness will overcome you, yet the light will free you...
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