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jake and the road of detsiny (ff connected)

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Author Topic: jake and the road of detsiny (ff connected)  (Read 201 times)
Wonderland's Very Own
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« on: May 12, 2010, 07:31:54 am »

Interesting. It's kinda short for a first chapter so try and work on making them longer when you post more ^_^ Also, remember to seperate paragraphs. Right now, you are posting a block of words that makes it hard to follow.

This way might work, or you can it again by yourself to get it seperated just the way you want it since you're the author:

"Jake was your average 12 year old kid. He would ride his bike, play sports, and  have fun like any other kid would.

But one night he saw a burst of green light erupt from the sky and something shot like a spitball out of the air and landed in the local junkyard. Jake was always the curios type so he went to check it out, what he saw made various things run through his mind. Wonder,interest,terror; for what he saw was a fallen meteorite. but this was no ordinary meteor it looked more like a plant with pods on the sides.

Jake reached his hand over to touch it but before he could he heard a tearing sound coming from the side of the meteorite.It started to ooze green slime and something came out: a monster. It was tiny but terrifying,it had a hypnotic stare, deep blood red eyes, and razor sharp teeth. At this moment Jake already knew what to do: RUN! Jake ran as fast as he could possibly go but when he got to his house he noticed it was already gone. as if it had grew legs and ran off.

Jake knowing the danger he is in he called the local dexlabs protective assembly but when the dexbots finally came instead of fighting off the monsters they simply took him and flew over to dexlabs.

Jake was scared one minute he was playing basketball with his friends, the next he was being carried off to dexlabs. When Jake arrived he saw hundreds if not thousands of other kids with the same scared face as he had they were all wondering the same thing: where are we? why are we here? what happened? wheres mom and dad? are we gonna die?

Everybody was getting anxious, then Dexter himself came out on his floating pad. Suprisingly he was with mandark, his arch enemy and buisness rival.

Dexter said with a loud and ready voice:"Hello my freinds I am aware that you all have many questions but now is simply not the time, we are facing a dangerous matter:an invasion.

end of chapter 1"

This way its easier for your readers to follow all of what you're saying ^_^
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