Silver: Legacy

Erm, that was ok, but now I think I might add more constructive criticizm than I was earlier, I think you might want to do what I call "Extending the paragraph" Which is using so many similes and other forms of english to make the paragraph as clear as possible. So tell me what everyone looks like, how they talk, for example, I have absolutely no idea what Alexandria looks like, and don't say "Brown hair" get into detail, "Wavy brown hair that drooped just below her shoulders and bangs that hung right above her eyes"