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Mobius University

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Awesomeness
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« on: July 07, 2010, 05:29:47 pm »

Im only doing These in short paragraphs because Most ppl dont bother to read like a whole page. There is two versions of these Ill do the first version.

Note Im Sorta Doing this as a Sonic Version SOOO yea xD
Characters:
Shad-Quiet,Shy,Hardworking, Doesnt have many friends Age:17
Wears a scarf, Hedgehog, Wears his hair sometimes over his left eye, Wears a skull shirt, sorta emo-ish, Kinda short

Axe/Axey-Cheers ppl up,Shads Soon to be friend- Age:18
Echidna, Saggy pants, Sometimes wears a tanktop but sometimes not xD, tall

Raven-Axe's good friend Age:18
Bat, Wears a skirt, Long sleaved shirt

Sall/Sally-Raven's Friend Age:18

Jet-Axe's Friend Age:19
Bird, Same as knuckles Cept Wears a short sleaved shirt,

Story:Axe Signs Up for Mobius University(Note that You Be 16 to enter The Univer.) Then he Meets Raven At her Dorm To ask Where everything is.

Ill add more later Since I have stuff to do.


« Last Edit: July 08, 2010, 01:06:50 pm by Shortstuff125 » Report Spam   Logged

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My Pokemon White team.

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Agent Gold Dasher
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« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2010, 06:30:20 pm »

The premise sounds promising. I look forward to your first installment.  Smiley
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« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2010, 07:57:25 pm »

Prologue-

"My name Is Axe and Im 18. Today Is My first day At Mobius University. My old university was too expensive so I had to move here. Although Its My first Day I've Already Some friends. I met them during basketball. They Are Jet, Raven, and Sally!"

/Raven/ And this is where the Library, A place you'll never go!  Theres Usually No one there. But the naive Is always there -grins- -Opens door- Look there he is!

/Axe/ Who is him?

/Jet/ Dont you know who he is?

/Sally/Just leave him! That freak aint worth meeting! Well his name is.....
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« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2010, 06:27:34 am »

...SlickaSlicka Slim Shady xD jk jk ^^ Interesting indeed, I'd like to see more of this fic as well please. Just a few minor errors Tongue

"Although Its My first Day I've Already Made Some friends"

"And this is where the Library is, A place you'll never go!"

Very good job, keep up the good work ^^
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« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2010, 08:33:02 am »

I very good opening. Aside from the very few grammatical errors Alice already mentioned, I think you are off to a wonderful start.

I wish my name was as cool as "Axe"...
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« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2010, 11:39:54 am »

I added a few more descriptive answers. For some reason I hate being corrected. You could imagine what Language class would be like for me.
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« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2010, 11:55:46 am »

/Raven/ SHADOW!~

/Shad/? Uh.....

/Axe/ What happens here?

/Shad/Why dont they just leave me alone?...


LATER

~Axe Catchs the ball and shoots it through the hoop~

/Axe/ Sweet we won!

/Jet/ Sorry Axe I gotta go. See ya later

/Axe/ Yeah Bye. Hey, look whos over there! It looks like he has new friends.

/Shad/ Never! Im not gonna ever do that again!

/Person/ Are you stupid? Who do you think you are going to talk to me like that and get away with it. Your gunna regret it!

/Axe/ Hey! ~Scary face~ Leave him alone!

~all of them run~


Also Ill take a vote weather If I should do this dayly. Also Ill post The characters Pictures later
« Last Edit: July 08, 2010, 08:37:53 pm by Shortstuff125 » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2010, 06:53:50 am »

Daily is fine, whatever's better for you I suppse Tongue
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« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2010, 12:52:10 pm »

/Axe/ Uh... ~Happy facce~ ARe you ok?

/Shad/....Yes.....Thank you.....

RINNNGGGRINRRRRINGGG

/Axe/ (What a moment to to ring me..... -.-) Yes? Oh,Hi sally! Really?Now...? Ok.... I'll go! See ya!

/Shad/.....

/Axe/ See you tomorrow! I'll search for you!


/Shad/Bye.... ~waits till he goes~ Its the first time someone treats me like that! I hope hes still the same.....At least till tomorrow <3







Heres the characters
http://s963.photobucket.com/albums/ae113/shortstuff125/?action=view&current=IMG_0001-1.jpg&newest=1


These ARENT the right colors. My cousin since hes a REALLY great colorer. He just put colors werever still pretty good.
Axe-Blue jeans. Red skin
Shad-Opposite skin(The black parts are sopposed to be red and the red is sopposed to be black)
Raven- Actually the same color (lucky)
 





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