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General Boards => The Clubhouse => Topic started by: Makastar on May 14, 2010, 06:42:29 am



Title: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on May 14, 2010, 06:42:29 am
I've decided to try and start up a writers guild here for all the writers in the FF community. If you like to write fanfiction, fiction, drabbles, short stories, poems, whatever, then this is the club for you.

We can all help each other out by reading over each other's work and providing constructive criticism and support for each other. I know I'm constantly looking towards my Betas' for help on my writing as well as a few of the writing groups I've joined in other sites. Having friends around that are able to read your stuff and give you the advice you need will be nothing but beneficial to your skills as a writer.

So join up today :3


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: kittycheesethird on May 14, 2010, 06:03:38 pm
ill join


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Agent Gold Dasher on May 14, 2010, 06:58:20 pm
This sounds like alot of fun, and a great tool to improve our writing techniques. Sign me up.  ;D


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on May 14, 2010, 07:07:45 pm
Yay :3 I'm happy that people are joining!!! So we have Alice Freeangel, Kitty Cheesethird and Agent Gold Dasher so far in the guild. Please join :3


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Number 2 on May 19, 2010, 06:26:39 pm
sounds fun. id like to join


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on May 19, 2010, 09:34:43 pm
All right!!! :3 Current Members:

1. Alice Freeangel
2. Kitty Cheesethird
3. Agent Gold Dasher
4. Number 2

If you guys are ready to start posting things for the rest of the guild to read, go right ahead. I might start posting some pieces of my fanfic for you guys to read over for me as well.

Join up people :3


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Agent Gold Dasher on May 21, 2010, 06:17:56 pm
Dang, I need to find the time to post some stuff.

Don't be shy anyone. Show us what you've cooked up.  :laugh:


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on May 24, 2010, 08:24:35 am
Hey guys, if you go to the Fanfic forum you'll find my story The Misfit Players. I'm hoping to get some feedback and edits off of those I've posted because I'm still waiting to hear back from my Betas. If you could, can you guys help me out and send me some feedback for it? Please and Thank you!!!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: coweater on June 14, 2010, 09:05:18 am
i'll join this guild my story is the shock files


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on June 14, 2010, 09:09:18 am
Current members of the guild:

1. Alice Freeangel
2. Kitty Cheesethird
3. Agent Gold Dasher
4. Number 2
5. Coweater


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on June 15, 2010, 11:32:43 am
yo sign me up


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on June 15, 2010, 11:41:02 am
Current members of the guild:

1. Alice Freeangel
2. Kitty Cheesethird
3. Agent Gold Dasher
4. Number 2
5. Coweater
6. gregorys1

Post up some things for the guild to read, you guys.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on June 15, 2010, 11:59:14 am
k hey gos ture love
love is like a donation not a request
someone who really loves gives it all and loses nothing
someone who asks and requests something from another person who they say to love is showing they truely dont love them.
it manafests the charge,concerning a egotisum
love should not be reciving but giving it's not asking but proportioning happiness and graditude our mothers are the most highest and biggest example of love of the ture love by Gregorys1


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on June 15, 2010, 12:12:32 pm
so did you like it


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: coweater on June 15, 2010, 12:13:53 pm
   (the prologe) Zach wakes up and hears the doorbell ring.He felt a chill go down his spine but he opened the door to see that a monster jumped out of no where.Zach used his karate he knew but it was no use.Then a vioce was in his head and said,

vioce-Zach use your powers on the monster.........now!

Zach use a bolt of elcectricity to kill the monster.




                        to be continued


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on June 15, 2010, 12:18:46 pm
good job man


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Agent Gold Dasher on July 05, 2010, 07:43:41 am
I need to post here more frequently. TwT

Here is a very short peice of writing lifted from Chapter Two of Resonance of the Ed's: Ed Eater.

Chapter Two

“Ed! ED! Open the door you idiot!”

With one mighty kick, little Sarah blew the door to her elder brother’s room wide open and sent it on a one way collision course with the wall. The humble door was broken into a dozen pieces. Nervously, Jimmy poked his head out from behind the few hinges that were still adhered to the wall.

“S-Sarah? Is it safe?”

Ed’s little sister marched into his room and began to look around, picking apart anything and everything that got in her way. Jimmy gave out a yelp as a chair nearly missed his head.

“Where is that brother of mine?! Where could he possibly be?!”

The two of them began to plumb every nook and cranny of Ed’s room for any signs of life. They looked under his covers; no Ed. They looked in his closet; no Ed. They even tore down the false wall Ed has installed to keep his sponge collection safe and in prime condition; alas, no Ed to be found. In a fit of desperation, Sarah tried checking her brother’s shower. Exhausted, Sarah and Jimmy returned to the kitchen upstairs and plopped themselves down in a chair.

“Well, I should have known he wouldn’t be there. He must be hanging out with his Double D and Eddy. And goodness knows where they are NOW.”

Jimmy daintily sipped on a cherry juice box he had taken from the fridge.

“Are you sure they are behind our water problems Sarah?”

Sarah responded with a snort.

“Well duh, Jimmy, I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“But do you really think they would be able to do this sort of stunt? I mean…stealing all the water out of Peach Creek? Isn’t that a little out of there league?”

Sarah saw Jimmy’s point. Her brow furrowed as she thought.

“I guess this is a little farfetched...."

She balled her fists and beat on the table furiously.

“Ah, I don’t care! I just want to beat the ever loving snot out of them for running off on us and making me waste my summer time looking for them!”


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Mtnboy97 on July 05, 2010, 05:18:59 pm
I will join


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Sharpshoot on July 05, 2010, 07:48:25 pm
Can I join? i have a fan-fic titled "Please Call and Come Home" on the Fan-Fic forum.


Here is a quick peek

"Formerly named Amazin Bay, a once loved and cherished large city. As the years went by the place got more and more deserted.  People moved out, and few moved in to replace them. Society was just out of the town. Antonio is eventually left with no friends. People just took the whole city for granted. Soon, one small neighborhood stood, Antonio being the only kid left. The city was more of a ghost town now. The few adults surviving with only the Guavas that grew from the trees, the deer that live in the land and the fish bred in the sea. Not even its beautiful view of the ocean stood to people anymore, thus, the name name was unofficially changed to Tear Bay, to mirror the emotions that the few residents felt."


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on July 06, 2010, 07:09:34 am
Sure thing you guys can join ^^ I haven't really been able to read things in awhile but I'm going to be trying to catch up with all the posts this week ^^

Current members of the guild:

1. Alice Freeangel
2. Kitty Cheesethird
3. Agent Gold Dasher
4. Number 2
5. Coweater
6. gregorys1
7. Zok Terrorgiant
8. Alshary Sharpshoot (Ashy)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: coweater on July 06, 2010, 12:36:05 pm
heres where you can go to my new fan fic


http://ultrafusionfallmultiindex.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,1977.0.html


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on July 07, 2010, 10:56:35 am
All right, my first edit job is one Gregory's lil snip-it he presented us. Sorry its so late.

k here goes true love
love is like a donation not a request
someone who really loves gives it all and loses nothing
someone who asks and requests something from another person who they say to love is showing they truely dont love them.
it manifests the charge,concerning a egotisum
love should not be receiving but giving it's not asking but proportioning happiness and graditude our mothers are the most highest and biggest example of love of the true love by Gregorys1


All right A very nice little snip-it in my eyes. Is this a freestyle poem or an actual paragraph. I can see in the lines its most likely freestyle but just wanted to make sure with you. Nice job and keep at it. ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on July 07, 2010, 11:18:34 am
Next edit is coweater's post a lil while back. Again, sorry its so late.

(the prologue) Zach wakes up and hears the doorbell ring.He felt a chill go down his spine but he opened the door to see that a monster jumped out of no where.Zach used his karate he knew but it was no use.Then a voice was in his head and said,

voice-Zach use your powers on the monster.........now!

Zach use a bolt of electricity  to kill the monster.

All right, some constructive criticism. Nothing major, just a few minor issues with the portion you've presented. You have a tendency to flipflop between present past and future tense. For example: "Zach wakes up and hears the doorbell ring." This part is present tense. "Zach used his karate he knew but it was no use." This part is past tense. You want to stick with one tense throughout the story, switching tenses confuses the reader.

Another thing is something I posted in one of your fanfics before, a good concept but there isn't any real buildup in the amount you right. Not a lot of descriptions going on that make the reader say "Oh I have to know what's going to happen next." Let me write up a quick lil snip-it of your first sentence there:

"Zach always thought he was dead to the world when he was asleep, unknown to what was going on beyond his closed eyes. When that doorbell rang throughout his house, however, Zach's slumber was disturbed. Alarmed, Zach picked himself off the couch and stumbled over to the front door, his hand pausing just above the handle. Something didn't feel right..."


If you just add in a little bit more description, there is also more flow with your story instead of just a step1/step2/step3 style without anything aiding it onward.

Just keep practicing the writing and take whatever constructive criticism you can ^^ And don't let yourself be discouraged, just keep doing the things you enjoy doing and it'll be just fine! ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on July 08, 2010, 07:52:24 am
Just read the part you posted Agent, I'm pleased to say that when I did a read-through I didn't catch any spelling or grammar errors. I'll look through a couple times and let you know.

You already know how much of a fan I am of your story ^^ Such an amazing tale, and you write to both storylines presented (Eds and Soul Eater) very well. If you ever need a beta for it, just post your chappies and I'll be glad to oblige. :3


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on July 08, 2010, 08:03:47 am
And last but certainly not least, Ashy's snip-it :P

I believe I posted this in the fic's actual thread but I'll just say it again. The story itself is very interesting and good. However, its best to seperate into shorter paragraphs so the reader isn't distracted by a giant block of words :P It's sometimes hard to follow because there are so many sentences in the one paragraph. Not many other mistakes I see though, I enjoy the story and I'm interested to see more of it ^^

Just keep practicing the flow and all of your sentences and your writing will be superb in no time ^^ Keep up the good work!!!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Agent Gold Dasher on July 08, 2010, 08:38:26 am
Just read the part you posted Agent, I'm pleased to say that when I did a read-through I didn't catch any spelling or grammar errors. I'll look through a couple times and let you know.

You already know how much of a fan I am of your story ^^ Such an amazing tale, and you write to both storylines presented (Eds and Soul Eater) very well. If you ever need a beta for it, just post your chappies and I'll be glad to oblige. :3


Thank you Alice, for taking the time out of your busy schedule to proof read my work. I hope my fiction continues to entertain.  ;D


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on July 08, 2010, 09:16:01 am
You're most certainly welcome ^^ I made the guild for that reason afterall, to help each other with our writing :3 I already read your newest chappie of Eds and I'm going to be reading your newest of Slim Bebop soon :)

Also, I'm working on my newest chappie of Misfit Players as well. As soon as I write it up I'm going to send it to Baki since her character is premiering in it but then after I get it back, I'll probably be posting it up here to get some constructive criticism as well ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Sharpshoot on July 08, 2010, 04:49:13 pm
Chapter 2 of Please Call and Come Home is up!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on July 08, 2010, 05:49:13 pm
yo thanks for reading mine  ;D


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on July 29, 2010, 06:26:46 pm
I will join if thats okay? I have a fan fic that I am working on. I just put it in Fan Fic.
( Lost To Be Found ) ^^



Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 02, 2010, 07:33:31 am
Sure thing you can join! Here are the Current members of the guild:

1. Alice Freeangel
2. Kitty Cheesethird
3. Agent Gold Dasher
4. Number 2
5. Coweater
6. Boomer Crimsontorch
7. Lucky Girl

Thanks to everyone for joining ^^ Just post up some pieces of writing and we'll go from there all right ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 02, 2010, 09:49:31 am
you do know that i have a new  name right

ALICE SAYS: Yeah I know, just didn't change the name in the list. All done ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on August 02, 2010, 12:07:18 pm
Well in my Fan Fic, I am having some trouble thinking of what the next chapter will be...
Any help?


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 02, 2010, 12:11:25 pm
I'll look at your current chapter and post any comments here or in your fic's comments for you, how about that? I'm currently occupied with my time at the moment but I should be able to do it sometime today. ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on August 02, 2010, 12:18:12 pm
Aww thanks Maka! Anytime today is fine I have to go now but thanks. ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 02, 2010, 02:53:18 pm
hi so when do i post my poem 


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 02, 2010, 02:54:38 pm
You post whenever you want to post, it might take a lil bit to get the edits back though. All depends on my workload or others workloads. I'll get to it as soon as i'm done with Lucky Girls ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 02, 2010, 03:00:06 pm
all right cool


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on August 02, 2010, 05:50:29 pm
Hey Boomer, I'd like to see your poem. Can you post it?  ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 02, 2010, 06:38:59 pm
um i am still working on it  :laugh: :laugh: i just want to knew when is it do but there is no do date


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 03, 2010, 10:05:38 am
All Right Lucky Girl!!! Here's your fic and my corrections! I strongly suggest you guys go read this fic :3 It's really a good storyline!  


Prologue:

Carter Anderson: A 16-Year-Old Teen  who is usually quiet but loves her family and her life. She is twins with her Brother Cade who is a total opposite of her. She is quiet and very shy but brave. He is bold and very friendly but also brave. Cade’s dream is to be a warrior. He plays football and is a straight A student. He has many friends and is pretty popular.  Carter on the other hand, loves writing stories and painting. She does not play a sport and struggles in many of her subjects and hardly anyone notices her in school. Her Parents both own a business of Real-estate agents. Her younger brother Kyle is 7 years old and is very much like Carter. But he is different in the same way. He is quiet and shy but very friendly. He loves video games but also loves reading. Carter’s family "don't really need the and her part :P" lives in Townsville Park.

Where the story picks up: Carter’s parents, Adam Anderson and Emily Anderson, Just dropped off Cade at football practice and on there way to there job of Real-estate agents. Carter is walking home after school as Kyle is at home playing video games.



Chapter One:  Uncertain

Carter was walking by the football field as she saw her brother talking to the team mates. She stopped a moment to watch him and wondered if he would see her. She slid her hands in her jean pockets and sat down on a bench near the field. Her dark black hair waved in the Autumn wind as she watched the Football team practice. She looked up in the sky watching the grey clouds move around. She then squinted as she saw a unusual shape. It was also an unusual color... Green in fact. The clouds then moved over the object leaving Carter to her thoughts. ‘Probably just my imagination. ‘


                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“ Hey, Cade! “ A voice screamed out. Cade swirled around to find the team Captain, Tod running up to him. “ Dude you ready for that test tomorrow? “ Tod said holding a football with one hand and his helmet with the other.

 Cade smiled and said. “ Are you kidding me. I have been studying for that test ever since Tuesday... last week! “

 Tods face looked nervous as his thoughts ran through his head. Probably thinking he would fail as usual. But he quickly shook it off and looked over Cade’s shoulder.

“Hey, Isn’t that your sis over there? “

Cade then turned to where Tod was looking and saw his sister looking over at him, smiling. He smiled and motioned her to come over.

“ Yeah... She is supposed to be at home watching my little brother. “



                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carter hopped over the fence and walked over to her brother. She smiled as she approached him. She then said shyly.  “ Hey Tod. “
 
  She gulped as she said it and knowing how popular he was she was expecting him to just ignore her but then Tod smiled at her and let out a little laugh. “ Heh hi Carter. You look ni- UMPH “

Cade and Carter both jumped back both surprised. It seemed as if one of the team mates was trying to catch the ball when he knock over Tod and tumbled to the ground with him.  Tod jumped to his feet and looked over at the team as they laughed there heads off. He then looked over at Carter who was trying not to bust up laughing.

Before anything else happened Carter exhaled and said, “ Well I better be getting home now. See you later Cade. “ Carter ran back to the bench where she was sitting and then walked along the sidewalk of Townsville Center.

                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 (This is just a little tip ^^ When starting off a section, usually you would want to start off with the Character's name and then after that you can use She or other ways of saying it like 'The girl' and so forth. Hopefully that's helpful ^^) Carter walked through her neighborhood as the rain started to fall. Carter then put up her hood and walked in her driveway to her house.

“ Hey Carter, long time no see.” Carter  spun around seeing a young man sitting on her front porch wearing a black jacket with black jeans. His hair was blond and long covering his dark blue eyes. Carter recognized the voice.

“ Did not expect to see you here John. What are you doing here? “

 John pulled back his blonde bangs and looked up to the bright blue eyed girl. “ I just wanted to see if you were okay. “                                             

The rain now pouring down as the two teens stared at each other.

“ Well I’m fine. But I am getting a little worried now since you showed up. “ 
She had her hands in her jacket and her hood fell off during her sprint to her house.

“ Well I have this funny feeling, you know the one I get when a storm is about to come? But this feeling is a little more. Something is
coming. “

 Carter then got closer to John and said. “ Well then tomorrow I’ll bring an umbrella. Thanks for the warning. “

Without a reply, she  passed him and went inside and slammed the door. She was in a mood as thoughts returned from when she met John. He started a club that she was in. The club would try to be like heros but a year later it fell apart. They had much adventures though. She loved the thrill of it.

Carter then sighed seeing Kyle playing around on his game system, she smiled and said. “ Hey Kyle I’m home! “ 

She moved her way to the couch where Kyle sat. She sat down watching her brother playing some Mario game. His eyes were glued to the Tv as he dodged Mushrooms and turtle-looking  things.

“ Hi sis. “  Kyle said without even looking at his sister.

After a hour of watching him dodge mushrooms and jump over drain pipes, Kyle yelled out. “ Oh n-no! Oh man! “

 It seemed Mario got hit by the mushroom and Kyle lost his last life. Kyle then shut off the game and the Tv. Carter hugged Kyle and Kyle gave a big hug back.

“ So when is mom and dad coming home Carter? “ Kyle asked.

 Carter looked at her watch. “ About a half an hour. And Cade will be home in a couple minutes at least he better be. “

 She stood up and walked her way to the fridge opening it to find the OJ and poured herself a cup.

“ One of his buddies is dropping him off or something. “

 Kyle then slouched on the couch and looked out the window that was near the Tv. He was very quiet for some reason. Carter then realizing her brother was in doubt.

“ You okay bud? “ She was half way through her beverage but set it down on the counter.

 “ I don’t feel so good...” 

“ You feel sick? “ Asked Carter.

“ No I feel like something is going to happen. I want mom and dad to come home. “ 
 Kyle was almost in tears. Carter was very confused. She was wandering why her brother was being so dramatic. She then started thinking of John and how he felt something was about to happen. But her thoughts were interrupted as her cell phone rang.  She flipped her phone up and answered.

“ Hey Cade. Where are you? You were suppo- “

 She was interrupted to an unusual voice. “ Uh yeah this is Tod. I am just using his phone. “   Carter’s eyes widen.   “ Oh uh, Hey... Is there a reason why your on my brothers phone? “ 

 “ Yeah sorry um he is driving so he told me to Call you. We are in your front yard. “
 Carters eye brows raised as she walked to the front door and looked to the window near the entrance. She saw her brother leaning against the car with Tod and another team mate talking outside. She hung the phone up and went outside.

“ Uh hey guys. Where have you been? “
-End Story

Very interesting ^^ I'm excited to see more! Hope I could be a little helpful in the edit ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 03, 2010, 11:59:40 am
As some of you have already heard, I love to write (DUH!) I'm currently writing a story that I will most likely post somewhere here. It's got nothing to do with Fusionfall but I really like it and I'm sure that some of you would like it as well. Anyway, here's a little snip-it of the story; its more like some parts are in the story and some parts are just there for explanation. I haven't really decided yet, I'm still working on the first couple of chapters before I post it. Tell me what you thinK:

***
Bailey stumbled through the hallways of the steam-powered aircraft, gasping for breath with each step. The sounds of the angered mob after her reverberated off the bolted metal walls, aiding the girl's motivation to keep pushing forward.

Wherever this world was, it was certainly not her own. Kidnapped from her small oceanside cottage, she was now in an airship sailing amongst the clouds.

"Run all you want, my dear. You're only prolonging the inevitable. Soon you'll be nothing more than a beautiful corpse!"

The voice of the captain rang over the loud speakers of the craft, urging Bailey's steps to speed up. The girl caught sight of a door at the end of the hall, recognizing it as the door to the airlock. There had to be some kind of craft she could use to escape from this steampunk hell she had found herself in.

"Heh, thought so."

Bailey's fingers reached for the door, the girl cursing as it ripped open by itself. The untied shoelaces finally made their attack, Bailey screaming in fear as she fell forward over the railing. Her fingers managed to wrap around the bar but she could fell the strain with each passing second as she lingered there.

"I told you before that you were only prolonging the inevitable, my dear," Captain Jaimus
stepped forth from the shadows, cackling to himself as he brought his hands upon Bailey's. "Well, my dear, your death will be one beautiful sight indeed. You should pray that the shock kills you before the actual impact. Farewell to you, dear Bailey Wilkins."

Bailey's heart almost stopped as Captain Jaimus ripped her hands off of the railing, sending her down towards the airlock. However, the sounds in her ears were enough to hint to her that the airlock was opened. The wind ripped at her clothes as Bailey fell downwards into the clouds, watching the ship as it drew further away from her.

***

So there it is! What do you guys think of the little snip-it? I'm working on it right now but the basic story is pretty simple. It's kinda a mix of several influences. Girl gets brought into a world that is a mix of steampunk and futuristic sci-fi, Air Pirates and so forth roam the land, etc. etc. lol. I am enjoying the story itself, its a nice lil project to pass the time with.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 03, 2010, 12:14:04 pm
nice poem or story  :laugh: ;D


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: CTRL ALT Dead on August 03, 2010, 12:23:47 pm
(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:dFS6wW8YVEv0xM:http://i683.photobucket.com/albums/vv195/killervirus57/sucess.jpg&t=1)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 03, 2010, 12:27:14 pm
I just died at that picture Rucka :P And thanks, its a story not a poem xD It'll probably be making its first chappie appearance this week.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 03, 2010, 12:28:32 pm
hey rucka are u joining


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: CTRL ALT Dead on August 03, 2010, 12:35:40 pm
I suck at writing :roll:. So . . No


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 03, 2010, 12:53:21 pm
Rucka doesn't suck at writing :P I think he should join but its up to him :P


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on August 04, 2010, 01:18:53 pm
So Maka, What should I do for the first part of my fan fic?
I don't know how to start it.  :-\


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 04, 2010, 01:29:10 pm
I personally think you should add that last little section to the beginning of your next chapter and continue on from there. Is this a fic where Planet Fuse is seen in the sky or something to that effect? Maybe just flow into that and have them react as well as cut off to some of the CN characters that you would want to add in your fic.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on August 04, 2010, 01:32:49 pm
Well I am not sure what characters I should put in there. May need some help with that.
But, I am leaving tomorrow so I may not be able to get the chapter out until the end of August.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 04, 2010, 01:35:11 pm
That's fine, gives you plenty of time to think about it. Now you want suggestions on what characters to add? Well, how about we add in some characters that don't usually get much love, even though they are in Fusionfall?

Mac and Bloo are two good ones along with Coop and Kevin and Gwen. Let's not forget Juniper Lee and Hex. Think of personalities that you know you could portray well and test them out in a little drabble or something. Then see which ones you like best and put them in your story ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on August 04, 2010, 01:47:23 pm
Sounds like a plan!  ;D
You have given me some inspiration Maka. I will be gone tomorrow until the 19th but,
I will defiantly get started on that chapter. Thanks!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 04, 2010, 01:49:48 pm
Aw well I'm glad I could be of some help to you ^^ Can't wait to read what's next in your fic. And have fun on your trip ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on August 04, 2010, 02:05:34 pm
Thanks Maka. Will do!  ;D Very excited for the trip but I will miss the Avatar RP and the other Rp's I am in. But thanks again for the helpful tips. I have to go now. Will try to be on later.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 04, 2010, 06:13:39 pm
am bored what should i do ( and this is not a poem and not a story) :)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 05, 2010, 07:33:25 am
Well, you could write something or play video games. Also, Boomer, please don't spam in the thread. Thanks!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on August 05, 2010, 10:50:07 am
oh am sorry :o


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on August 20, 2010, 09:47:08 am
Check out my Soul Master fic in the fanfic section! I need constructive criticism, please and thanks! :3


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on September 01, 2010, 09:29:33 pm
EDIT: Please don't spam threads on this forum. This is a warning. Thanks!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Lucky Girl on September 02, 2010, 10:27:29 pm
I don't think that is spamming...

 By the way I am taking a break from my fan fic... Just don't have any more ideas on what to do about it. I also have a lot of work to do. =)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Sharpshoot on September 03, 2010, 12:13:57 am
I wrote some first look info about my original story

Dyro: Kage no Honoo:
http://ultrafusionfallmultiindex.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,2660.0.html


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on September 03, 2010, 12:03:56 pm
Boomer was venting about Lil on the Writers Guild thread, which is considered spam. So I removed it. -shrugs-

I'm going to take a look at ur story very soon Ashy, just gotta get my work done for this week and then I'll be able to catch up with teh RPs and such.

Also, I'm also taking a break from the fanfics of mine. School just is taking too much time right now so I'm on a temporary Hiatus.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Sharpshoot on September 03, 2010, 12:43:20 pm
We understand, and good luck with your studies Ali, or Alice.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on September 04, 2010, 12:13:29 am
am finally done with my poem. so who wants to hear it?


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on September 04, 2010, 11:01:37 am
Post it up here Boomer and we'll read it as soon as possible. Ashy I'll try to get to your story today ok ^_^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on September 09, 2010, 05:35:04 pm
sorry cant post it up yep cuz i left it in gym so untill monday so yeah cant post it up


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 12:05:29 pm
Hey Writers Guild, just figured I'd write a lil message saying we're still here and ready and willing to give any help needed on your writing ^_^

If you get a chance, go check out my newest stories over in the fanfiction section please :3 I could use some constructive criticism over there.

Give me Food Good Guy: http://ultrafusionfallmultiindex.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,3035.0.html

Cyber Paradise:
http://ultrafusionfallmultiindex.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,3024.0.html


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 12:09:41 pm
hmm okay u want constructive criticism ill give u it  :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: jk i look foward to reading it


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 12:14:52 pm
-lolz- just as long as your comments are helpful and not flames. Flames aren't allowed on my fics or stories and I don't take them nicely if they do happen :P

I appreciate constructive criticism, as all writers should, since that helps better them as writers -shrugs-


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 12:20:24 pm
oh okay ill give constructive criticism  :angel: :angel: :angel: so can u give me a link to get there


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 12:21:54 pm
-points to a few posts up- there's links already in that post there. Just follow the links to the fics.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 12:27:58 pm
opps well now i look like an dummy -hids his face in embarrassment-


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 12:29:22 pm
Haha its cool, happens to the best of us! Just follow the links and you'll be at my fics. Thanks ^_^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 12:59:05 pm
k posted in them so now what?


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 01:02:32 pm
Well, I suppose wait for more to post up their writings for reading and review. If you have something you worked on personally that you would like reviewed, please do and I will get to editing it as soon as possible.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 01:06:48 pm
i did but i dont want to post it i wrote it when i was single and mad at love but now i have love and it filled me with joy and i am finally happy now that i have love  love is like a passion a gift to someone you love and should not be treated like mud love is like something u have with that special someone you shouldnt mistreat love or it well mistreat you for i have learned that the sad sad sorrow way but i have found love and it has found me.

                                                       By:Ziggy Salazar


Edit: wow i just made a poem of the bat sweet





Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 01:15:04 pm
U can still post the poem up though, I have many poems conveying my emotions at the time that even though I don't feel that way anymore, I'm still proud of them.

Also, interesting poem them. Let me fix the format really quicK...

i did but i dont want to post it
i wrote it when i was single and mad at love
but now i have love and it filled me with joy
and I am finally happy now that i have love 
love is like a passion
a gift to someone u love
and should not be treated like mud
love is like something u have
with that special someone.

It's pretty good, a few tweaks here and there for the most part. For a poem, its somewhat incomplete however, needs more of a conclusion or more lines to sum it up better.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 01:16:46 pm
okay now read it i fixed it up now so is it good?


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 01:28:05 pm
Well, you still don't have the format for a poem down, you have to seperate it by lines and stanzas. Here, lemme show you how its done.

I did but I dont want to post it
I wrote it when I was single and mad at love
but now I have love and it filled me with joy
and I am finally happy now that I have love 
love is like a passion
a gift to someone you love
and should not be treated like mud
love is like something you have
with that special someone
you shouldn't mistreat love
or it well mistreat you
for I have learned that will
the sad sad sorrow  
but I have found love
and it has found me.

By:Ziggy Salazar

All right now for the most part, its ok. There's a few parts I've marked in red either because I changed them or they don't really seem to make sense on the first read-through.

Also, keep in mind that writing poetry about love is a hard ordeal mainly for the fact that love, when writing, sounds cliche. You want to spark the interest in your readers eyes when they glance upon your work.

In addition, remember that with each seperated line you have to start the next line off with a capitol letter. I didn't fix it in the edit here but you should do it in the future.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 01:30:55 pm
okay thanks alice am going to give it so my girl friend hope fully she will like it cross your fingers right now she is with me and today is her birthday


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Sharpshoot on November 26, 2010, 05:00:26 pm
Rate Dyro and Fusion Mayhem on their respective threads NAOH!...plz


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 08:27:35 pm
what are u talking about speck english please


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 09:18:34 pm
He said Read and Rate his fics now, they can be found in the fanfiction section of the forums so go check them out and give him some criticism of constructiveness and rate them. Pretty simple actually what he said, very easy to understand.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on November 26, 2010, 09:22:40 pm
ohk now i understand thank u alice


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on November 26, 2010, 09:55:01 pm
You're welcome! Go comment on his stuff whenever u have the time. I love them :3


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on December 17, 2010, 07:22:30 am
Hello Fellow Writers!

I'm here to bring you my latest One-Shot post up! I love how I'm calling them one-shots but they are pretty much separate episodes of the same story. :3 Anyway, again, its Blazblue but they character concepts are pretty simple to understand so you don't have to be a fan of the game to really get what's going on there.

Here's a link ^_^ Go read it and tell me what you think. Also, as always, I'm hoping to get some beta help so if you are able to help me out by Betaing, that'd be great ^_^

http://ultrafusionfallmultiindex.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,3087.0.html


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Gabriel13 on December 17, 2010, 08:32:25 pm
cool!  8)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on December 19, 2010, 02:53:04 am
I think its time to post definitions of a critique since there was apparently some issues with them earlier...

As nice as it is to hear THIS STORY ROCKS or as annoying as it is to hear THIS STORY SUCKS! These are NOT helpful critiques, they can't even be considered critiques. In fact, THIS STORY SUCKS or any negative comment that is not backed up with facts or opinions about why that person thinks the story sucks is called a FLAME! I specifically state in my fics that no flames are allowed or tolerated at all.

This is an example of a good critique:

The last chapter you wrote had a very nice flow to it however I found the character development to be very mediocre compared to some of your other fictions. I would suggest looking more into showing a development between (insert name) and (insert name) so that the reader can embrace their friendship more and understand where the characters are coming from. Good job with your writing, just try to be more aware of the issues I pointed out and you'll do excellent. Thanks.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

See, even if you have some issues with the fic you can still be nice about it and NOT RUDE! So, please keep no more flames on my threads, especially since that's not only against my rules on the thread but against the rules of the forums as well. Thanks!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on December 20, 2010, 10:43:09 am
OT:alice i was wondering if um i could be come a critique but i wont have no flames only if i see a problem is that okay ?


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on December 20, 2010, 10:46:17 am
OT:alice i was wondering if um i could be come a critique but i wont have no flames only if i see a problem is that okay ?

OT: You mean a critic? Anyone can be one as long as they understand the difference between a flame and a critique.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Spike Spiegel on December 20, 2010, 11:01:15 am
OT:yea i know


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: LastRequiem on December 20, 2010, 01:40:28 pm
Can I join?


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on December 20, 2010, 09:08:56 pm
Of course you can join Lucien ^_^ ur one of my besties girl!!! -hugs-


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: LastRequiem on December 20, 2010, 10:53:36 pm
Lol, awww. -hugs- Thank you ^^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on December 21, 2010, 06:17:08 am
Ur very welcome ^_^ Now let's see some posts guys! Post up some of your fics and we'll help you along with them ^_^


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: LastRequiem on December 22, 2010, 12:40:39 am
Well there is something that I just came up with at the last moment. Just a short story... As usual -insert negative comment about the story here-.

   The sky was in a magnificent rainbow of colors that danced towards the sun setting over the far off horizon. The sun had a bright, warm glow that showered over the landscape of shining glass skyscrapers in City Station and the surrounding areas.
    Watching from City Station's largest tower, his hazel brown eyes were fixated toward the sun as his mind and heart wished and imagined a place in his fantasies. He dreamed of a world of peace and tranquility. A place of happiness and tears of joy. Where violence was only a fragment of a small argument. A place that only existed in few parts on Earth and mostly in people's dreams.
   He brushed his brown hair away from his eyes and sighed as the calming breeze blew across the warm glow of the sun. He closed his eyes and cherished the short relaxing calmness of the time he still has.
   He knows there isn't a place on the planet where the place he dreamed of existed. Not anymore since the alien Fusion Planet invaded their home. Green fusion monsters roaming the land and attacking anyone that gets in their way. Now, it was his and the others time to fight for their dreams and the people that needed fighters to defend their home and their dreams from being shattered or destroyed.
   The teen boy looked down at the city streets far below that are coated with the shadows of the skyscrapers. There were kids and teens that were just like him that have their own dreams and their own things to protect and fight for. Some even share a few of the same dream.
   There were green fusion like monsters planning to take their dreams away. Of course, they won't let that happen.
   Suddenly, there was loud roar echoed through the streets that jerked him away from his thoughts and caught every person's attention in the nearby area. He looked down and saw a ginormous file cabinet like green monster with three smaller versions of itself beside it. They were five groups of them marching down the streets terrorizing the calming atmosphere.
   Every kid nearby immediately attacked the group of monsters, but only seven kids were there, heavily outnumbered. He decided to help them as he stepped closer to the edge ready to jump.
   The boy on the skyscraper glanced at the sun one last time before it completely disappeared over the horizon. He readied his machine gun as he jumped off the edge with his rocket nano out to lessen his landing to help the kids. He was still falling as he aimed at the monsters and tried to shoot them down.
   He knew he still had a lot to do in order to get to his dreams, but he already made up his mind that it was worth it. He smiled in determination as he free fall back into the world of reality.


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on December 22, 2010, 06:45:59 am
Well there is something that I just came up with at the last moment. Just a short story... As usual -insert negative comment about the story here-.

   The sky was in a magnificent rainbow of colors that danced towards the sun setting over the far off horizon. The sun had a bright, warm glow that showered over the landscape of shining glass skyscrapers in City Station and the surrounding areas.
    Watching from City Station's largest tower, his hazel brown eyes were fixated toward the sun as his mind and heart wished and imagined a place in his fantasies. He dreamed of a world of peace and tranquility. A place of happiness and tears of joy. Where violence was only a fragment of a small argument. A place that only existed in few parts on Earth and mostly in people's dreams.
   He brushed his brown hair away from his eyes and sighed as the calming breeze blew across the warm glow of the sun. He closed his eyes and cherished the short relaxing calmness of the time he still has.
   He knows there isn't a place on the planet where the place he dreamed of existed. Not anymore since the alien Fusion Planet invaded their home. Green fusion monsters roaming the land and attacking anyone that gets in their way. Now, it was his and the others time to fight for their dreams and the people that needed fighters to defend their home and their dreams from being shattered or destroyed.
   The teen boy looked down at the city streets far below that are coated with the shadows of the skyscrapers. There were kids and teens that were just like him that have their own dreams and their own things to protect and fight for. Some even share a few of the same dream.
   There were green fusion like monsters planning to take their dreams away. Of course, they won't let that happen.
   Suddenly, there was loud roar echoed through the streets that jerked him away from his thoughts and caught every person's attention in the nearby area. He looked down and saw a ginormous file cabinet like green monster with three smaller versions of itself beside it. They were five groups of them marching down the streets terrorizing the calming atmosphere.
   Every kid nearby immediately attacked the group of monsters, but only seven kids were there, heavily outnumbered. He decided to help them as he stepped closer to the edge ready to jump.
   The boy on the skyscraper glanced at the sun one last time before it completely disappeared over the horizon. He readied his machine gun as he jumped off the edge with his rocket nano out to lessen his landing to help the kids. He was still falling as he aimed at the monsters and tried to shoot them down.
   He knew he still had a lot to do in order to get to his dreams, but he already made up his mind that it was worth it. He smiled in determination as he free fall back into the world of reality.

I loved your story Lucien! No negativity here :) Just got a few things to mention. You might want to use more words to say "He" instead of using "He" and "His" over and over. It's just an overkill on those single words and it would better the writing if you mixed it up a little bit.

Also, it seems you alternate between past and present tense a couple of times there. I don't know if it was on purpose, I was just pointing it out to ya in case it wasn't :P

There wasn't any grammatical issues or anything like that I saw in my first readthrough but I'll read over it again a few times. All in All, Good Job :)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: LastRequiem on December 22, 2010, 12:35:41 pm
Lol, I have a bad habit of whether to use present or past, and thinking of words/sentences with a word that is present but I mistake it for a past. Thank you for reading it and telling the mistakes, Ali.  :)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on December 22, 2010, 12:38:33 pm
It's my pleasure ^_^ Always happy to be an extra pair of eyes for any writer :3


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on February 10, 2011, 09:46:19 am
Hey there Guild! I just wanted to let you guys know that I posted up the prologue of another novel I'm working on~! The link is here so if you guys could check it out for me and tell me what you think, that will be great :3

http://ultrafusionfallmultiindex.smfforfree3.com/index.php/topic,3268.0.html


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Smax on March 06, 2011, 09:19:17 pm
Eh, what the heck, sign me up.

In the meantime, can you modify this first chapter? I might be posting the series up here.



The Other Side 1

Water dripped from my fingertips like the cold sweat from my face on The Other Side. Of course you don't know what that is... Yet.

 I guess it all started as I had just said. Me being drenched in rain.

I dragged myself into the grocery store, tracking mud and rain with every heavy step.

 I picked out a couple cans of tomato soup, paid, and stepped slowly back out into the pitch black abyss of rain, not looking forward to walking home. 

My small house and poor family wasn't far away, but with the drops pounding on my head and back, it felt like hours.

 As soon as I got back to my house, towels and warmth ambushed me as my mother, with worry in her eyes repeatedly asked if I was okay. 

"oh my gosh, oh my gosh Aidan are you alright?!" she panicky asked.

"mom! I'm fine! Youve got to stop worrying so much about this. I'm fifteen now. I think I can take care of myself." I told her as I took the damp towel off and sat on my bed. Otherwise known as the floor. 

Indeed, we are that poor. Ever since my dad passed away and my sister, Kasey disappeared it's just been me and my mom. 

She works at the drycleaners and doesn't make a lot of money.

I put the wet can of soup in a cabinet and laid down on the floor. 

You'd think it would be hard to sleep on a hard, wet, wooden floor, but I slept on it as if it was the softest cloud in the universe 

Little did I know, that was one of the only peaceful sleeps I'd get in a long time...

End- chapter 1


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on March 07, 2011, 05:33:38 am
Sure thing, let me just finish posting up on the RP threads and I'll edit this first chappie of yours. :3 Welcome Aboard!


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on March 09, 2011, 08:19:51 am
The Other Side 1

Water dripped from my fingertips like the cold sweat from my face on The Other Side. Of course you don't know what that is... Yet.

 I guess it all started as I had just said. Me being drenched in rain.

I dragged myself into the grocery store, tracking mud and rain with every heavy step.

 I picked out a couple cans of tomato soup, paid, and stepped slowly back out into the pitch black abyss of rain, not looking forward to walking home.

My small house and poor family wasn't far away, but with the drops pounding on my head and back, it felt like hours.

 As soon as I got back to my house, towels and warmth ambushed me as my mother, with worry in her eyes repeatedly asked if I was okay.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh Aidan are you alright?!" she panicky asked.

"Mom! I'm fine! You’ve got to stop worrying so much about this. I'm fifteen now. I think I can take care of myself." I told her as I took the damp towel off and sat on my bed; otherwise known as the floor.

Indeed, we are that poor. Ever since my dad passed away and my sister, Kasey disappeared it's just been me and my mom.

She works at the drycleaners and doesn't make a lot of money.

I put the wet can of soup in a cabinet and laid down on the floor.

You'd think it would be hard to sleep on a hard, wet, wooden floor, but I slept on it as if it was the softest cloud in the universe

Little did I know, that was one of the only peaceful sleeps I'd get in a long time...

End- chapter 1

Ok my main concern with this piece is that there doesn't seem to be a lot of explanation going on, and you rush into different topics without giving the reader a chance to soak in the last bit of information. You use one-lined sentences that aren't very detailed to explain things which just need a little more to give a full description. For example, the bit where you were mentioning you guys were poor wasn't very detailed. It seemed rushed for you just stated it and then went on into the can of soup bit.

I fixed a few grammatical things too for you in the quote. All in all, sounds interesting, I would just enjoy some more descriptions in your writing. Look forward to see what's next, keep up the good work :)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Smax on March 10, 2011, 06:07:53 am
Hm, I didn't really notice that. Thanks, I'll fix it.  :)


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on March 10, 2011, 07:57:32 am
You're welcome! :3 I feel it always helps to at least have some readers view my work before I think about publishing it. Several pairs of eyes are always better than one :P


Title: Re: Writers Guild :3
Post by: Makastar on July 05, 2011, 02:22:35 pm
If you guys could check out www.maeeverglow.wordpress.com, I post a lot of my writings up there. I am always looking for feedback.